I’ve been having one hell of a time sleeping lately. That makes me not want to get up in the morning which makes me late. If I’m late to work then I have to stay late… which means I get home late. I hate this.

It’s nice when someone grabs your ass throughout the night… in his sleep… and has no recollection of it the next morning.

We have our monthly checkup on Monday and I have some questions for the doctor:
Why am I so damn itchy? I moisture like crazy — could it be PUPPS???
Is it normal for my hands to swell so badly after I eat hibachi-goodness that I almost can’t take off my rings?
Are the headaches normal?
Will the gas ever stop because I’m tired of farting?