A few months ago, we purchased a lovely gadget called the CatGenie. It is freakin’ AWESOME. Except sometimes it smells like hot piss when it runs out of cleaning solution. And Isabelle refuses to crap in it (she prefers the landing on the stairs). And the little plastic pellets stick to the cats’ paws and slowly make their way upstairs… and into Takeshi’s mouth.

He knows he isn’t supposed to chew on them but he loves loves LOVES them. He doesn’t eat them (he accidentally swallowed one when he started laughing at something that tickled his fancy and the look on his face was one of “oh shit, did I just EAT that thing?”) but he will chew on them, which he knows I can not stand. Sometimes I won’t realize he’s chewing on one so he’ll run up to me and give me one of his huge toothy smiles… and then I’ll see it — a CatGenie pellet purposefully placed between his teeth. Then begins the game of SPIT THAT OUT! The problem with SPIT THAT OUT is I only win if I have something good to ‘threaten’ him with (such as throwing away any toy he seems interested in at the moment) or offering him chocolate. The other day was particularly fun because Takeshi believes my attention span is as short as his and if he can just distract me for 2 seconds, I will forget that he has that wonderful pellet of fun in his mouth.

Me, putting my hand out: “Takeshi, that’s disgusting. Spit it out!”
Takeshi, pointing to the clock: “Kah! Kah! Kah! Kah!”
Me, still with my hand out: “Yes, that’s a clock. Now, spit it out!”
Takeshi, pointing to the Christmas tree star: “Tah! Tah! Tah!”
Me, hand out: “Yes, that’s a star. SPIT IT OUT!”
Takeshi, pointing to my sneakers: “Choos! Choos! Choos!”
Me: “Yes, those are shoes. SPIT IT OUT RIGHT NOW!”
*At this point, you may be wondering why I am acknowledging his little distractions. The reason is very simple: if you don’t repeat in Adult Language what Takeshi is saying in Takeshi-ese, he will continue to repeat his one syllable words, increasing his volume and pitch until your ears bleed and glass shatters.*
Takeshi, pointing to his truck: “Bah! Bah! Bah!”
Me, getting frustrated: “Yes, that is your truck. SPIT THAT THING OUT RIGHT NOW!”
Takeshi, pointing to Esco: “Puh-puh! Puh-puh!”
Me, hand still out: “Yes, that’s Esco. SPIT IT OUT!”
Takeshi, pointing to the bottles of water: “Wah-wah! Wah-wah!”
Me: “Yes, that is water. NOW SPIT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW OR I’M GOING TO TAKE ALL YOUR TRAINS AND THROW THEM AWAY!”
Takeshi… looks at me, thinks for a second, walks over to the trash and spits out the pellet. He walks back to me and smiles and I say, “Thank you; that’s very good.”

Then he bends down, picks up another pellet and puts it in his mouth.