I never EVER thought I would make it to full term but here I am: 37 weeks.

Now if I could just get this kid to come out… I can’t walk without getting pounded in the freakin’ cervix and/or bladder and/or ribs. Every time this kid jumps, I feel like s/he is going to just fall out. I think I have given up on thinking that “Today is the day”; it is now a week past the day when I thought s/he was definitely going to come. Jay says not to jinx myself because the minute I “give up”, this kid will come flying out of me. And then I will be all, “Holy crap, I’m not ready! GO BACK! GO BACK!”

Last Friday the baby dropped. I woke up with a distinct feeling of “Today is the day” and even noticed that the top of my belly was not so round, but squishy. But no baby. Since Friday it has gotten increasing difficult to walk or sit or stand for extended periods of time. This kid is very slooooowly making it’s way down and is killing me in the process. KILLING ME.

I used to be able to pick a side and sleep on it all night but now I have to switch sides multiple times and every time I do, my hip pops. And in case you were wondering, that is not such a glorious feeling.

In the meantime, the weather is getting nicer outside and Takeshi is starting to revolt. Jay tries to come home early so he can take him to the playground because I just can’t keep up with him. I think he is very aware that I can’t move as fast as I used to. When I let him wander around the house he usually gives me a little smile, accompanied by a little glint in his eyes that says, “haha, catch me if you can!” right before he bolts off down into the basement (which he knows is forbidden territory). Of course, it takes a while for my fat, waddling ass to catch up with him and by that time he is elbow deep in all sorts of child unsafe goodness.

I am beginning to think that Jay and I were cracked out of our minds to think we could have two kids.

Our home visit last week went pretty well. The midwife and one of her birth assistants came and made sure we had everything and gave us some pointers (moving furniture, etc) to make things easier. She also handed Jay a “What to do if the baby arrives before the midwife” sheet to which he later commented, “Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. If I have to deliver this baby I want a refund!” Amen, brutha, amen.

On Monday we had the first of our weekly appointments and everything looks good. I’ve dramatically reduced my sugar intake over the past few weeks and this time I didn’t leak sugar into my urine — wooohooo! We’ve also been told that I have to make it to 36 weeks for our home birth to happen (otherwise they may have to transfer me to the hospital), so I just have to make it to Friday. I’ve been drinking a LOT of water and any time I get crampy sensations, I try to relax and visualize my cervix tight and closed. Just a few more days…

Also of some interest is the fact that I haven’t gained any weight in the past 3 weeks. I find this odd since I feel bigger than I’ve ever been in my LIFE. It is so taxing to stand and yet just as uncomfortable to sit (the baby kicks me in the ribs). I don’t want to have this baby just yet but I don’t know how much longer I can take this.

OK, apparently this kid started to mess with Erika’s laptop. She sends me the following Instant message:

[15:09] Erika: i don’t know what your son did but 99% of my mail is going to spam
[15:09] Jay: Bhahaha!

Even clinton finds this funny!

I have seen quite a few home birth videos — thanks YouTube (and of course, all those that were kind enough to share their videos)! — and so far, this one is my favorite:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0HTiOvOPZw&NR=1

It is somewhat “graphic” and will probably require that you have a YouTube account to view it but it’s totally worth it. And for those wondering, no we will not be doing an unassisted birth; we will have our midwife and her birth assistant attending the birth.

On Friday night Takeshi peed in the toilet! Woooohoooo!!!
We decided to start potty training him when one morning he pulled off his diaper twice in the span of 30 minutes and proceeded to pee on the kitchen floor. From that moment on, whenever he pulled of his diaper I would toss him on the toilet. And nothing. He’d just reach for the toilet paper or grab stuff that was sitting on the tank… but no peeing. Then Jay realized that he was peeing in the bathtub (he’d grab himself and Jay just thought he was being a typical boy until Takeshi stood up one day and Jay noticed that he was actually peeing when he was holding his third leg). So the next night Jay put him on the toilet as he let the bathtub fill with water and lo-and-behold, TAKESHI DID PEE PEE ON THE POTTY!!!

So begins the fun of potty training. More important than the peeing, I’d like to get him to poo on the potty because those diapers are stinkin’ up the whole house and I would love the ability to flush that crap (no pun intended) far Far FAR away.