Our country is taking the war on obesity very seriously; it has added another meal to our day.

Gawd Bless the USA.

This morning I let Kenji crawl around the kitchen floor since his big brother wasn’t around to sit on him. He moves pretty damn fast and I’m really starting to think that we were certifiably insane to have another kid.

Thanks Jay, for making sure it was a boy.

P.S. Thanks Aunt Janet for the adorable (9 m!) onesie!

I have been eyeballing this bag (in Rosewood cord) and really, I have no reason to buy it. I have more bags than I’ll ever need, plus this bag is so freakin large. I mean, seriously large (check out the action shots). Jay just laughs at me and agrees that it is way too big. And I can’t NOT fill a bag so I’m only asking to risk serious back injury if I buy it.

But I love it. And I am already starting to think of all the things that could fit in it — change of clothes for both boys, diapers for both, “emergency” toys for both, snacks, my phone, my wallet, my water bottle, writing instruments, a first aid kit…

Takeshi was feeling generous and shared his sick germs with Kenji. Now we have two snot-nosed, sneezy kids.

(Also, notice Kenji’s “Flying Nun” hair. It says, “Cut me. Cut me NOW. And you wonder why people think I’m a girl.”)

Takeshi,

First, can I just point out that this is probably the first time in over a year that you have had two consecutive Monthday entries. Most of your Monthday writings are at least 3 or 4 months apart because in Mama’s World, a month is NEVERENDING.

In the past month, you have really started to pick up some more verbal skills. You are starting to string two words together and are often pointing out things and who they belong to. Dinner is often started with you pointing to your food saying, “Tee-chee” (which is how you say your name) and me saying, “Yes, that’s Takeshi’s dinner.” Then you point to Papa’s plate and say, “Papa” and I say, “Yes, that’s Papa’s dinner” and you nod in agreement. Then you do the same for my plate. Sometimes you will also let us know where we are sitting by pointing and saying, “Papa chay” — Papa’s chair — or “Mama chay.” And when Kenji is eating, you like to point and say, “boo-BEEEEE” and sometimes follow through with a poke to my breast. Kenji always thinks that’s amusing and usually stops eating to look at you, which is when you grab his head and smoosh it back into my boobie.

You have also started singing more and associating certain words or objects with songs. When you see a boat you move your arms as if you were moving oars and say, “Row. Row. Row. Bot.” And every night, you and Papa sing “Wheels on the Bus” and “Old McDonald.” You are particularly fond of the donkey on Old McDonald’s farm and think it’s hilarious when Papa hee-haw’s. You also make an excellent back-up singer and are always emphasizing the last word when Papa sings.

Papa: The door on the bus goes open and shut.
Takeshi: CHUT!
Papa: Open and shut.
Takeshi: CHUT!
Papa: Open and shut.
Takeshi: CHUT!
Papa: The door on the bus goes open and shut.
Takeshi: CHUT!
Papa: All over town.
Takeshi: OWWWN.

A few weeks ago, we picked up a Spiderman bike (with training wheels) for you and our kitchen floor now looks like a speedway. We also got you a matching helmet and you know that you have to wear it when you ride but I think this has caused some confusion in your little world because you think that you have to wear it ALL DAY. So you will put your helmet on, ride your bike, play with your motorcycles, build an obstacle course with blocks, get back on your bike, go back to your motorcycle course, back on the bike, look at some books, back on the bike — all while wearing your helmet. If I try to take your helmet off when you’re not on the bike, you think I’m going to take your bike away too and you throw a fit. Sometimes you want to ride your bike but when I tell you that you have to wear your helmet, you stop and think for a moment and I can see you contemplating whether or not it’s worth it to have to wear your helmet all morning just so you can ride around for a little bit. Hopefully sometime soon you’ll realize that it’s not all or nothing and that you can do both. And really, it’s not that difficult to take off your helmet and put it back on between rides.

We have been letting your hair grow because for the past year we’ve been buzzing it and your grandmothers feel that when your hair is long, it gives the illusion that you are a sweet, innocent little angel. Now that it’s long, we can comb it to the side and fool people into thinking you’re a perfectly normal little boy… until you bring out the crazy and then everyone is just like, “Whoa. Wasn’t expecting that.” And we’re like, “Yeah. Feel our pain.”

Love,
Mama

I found this link about the county that I grew up in. It is quite possibly the funniest (and truest) thing I’ve seen in a while:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bergen+county

All the things I don’t miss: new money, *$@!ing attitude, designer EVERYTHING.
What I will always miss: the food — pizza and bagels. ‘Nuff said.

Kenji,

I think you are in a race with your brother to see who can be the craziest. At 5 months old, you have mastered leap frogging; this is how you get to things. Mostly, you are interested in Takeshi’s toy motorcycles (which he leaves everywhere!) and you leap-leap-leap to get to them. You can lay in the Pack-N-Play very calmly, holding your toes and talking to yourself but the moment your brother jumps in there to join you with a motorcycle in hand, you flip onto your stomach and leap like mad to try to commandeer his Amazingly Awesome Must-Have-It-RIGHT-NOW motorcycle. Needless to say, although Takeshi can be quite generous (on his own terms), he is almost never willing to give up his motorcycles. Then there is the sound of squealing, a staccato of “My! My! My!” from Takeshi and a thud! as your brother jumps out of the Pack-N-Play to ensure the safety of his toy.

Your bachan has commented that you are a very happy baby and she couldn’t be more right. You wake up every morning around 6 o’clock and just roll around, babbling and gurgling and making high-pitched happy squeals. If I’m not awake (which is the case 99.99% of the time), you bat me in the face and just laugh and roll away from me, then roll into me, then roll away, then roll into me. This usually continues for about an hour until your brother wakes up or until my face can no longer take the scratchings from your little razor-like baby nails (which seem to grow back to eye-gouging length the moment I finish cutting them). And so begins your day.

You have absolutely no set-in-stone nap routine. Mornings usually contain a small nap or two (less than an hour) and are mostly had when I am out running errands. I try to stay home in the afternoon so you can get a decent nap, which can last up to 3 hours (if you’re extremely tired and/or sick) but are mostly 2 back-to-back 1 hour naps (with a feeding in between). You have a definite preference about where you sleep and prefer the “family bed” versus your own crib. While I don’t mind you in the bed, I worry that Takeshi will roll on top of you and squish you. At night, before I come to bed, I usually have to separate the two of you a few times because Takeshi will scoot in his sleep and make his way over to you. Even though he may give you a hard time, he loves you so much. For a while, he thought all babies were called “Ahh-nee!” (as he so affectionately calls you). And whenever he has a snack, he always tries to give you some. I know some day soon I will find you with a chicken nugget or a cookie in your mouth, courtesy of your big brother.

As much as Takeshi loves you, you are equally enamored by him. If he wasn’t in day care, I don’t think you’d ever eat. If he is around, I have to make sure you can’t see or hear him, otherwise you won’t eat. You’d much rather stare and laugh at him, while milk sprays all over face, in your ear and onto your clothes. Papa often refers to you as “Stinky Cheese Boy” because you’d much rather wear your food than eat it. And in case you were wondering, clothes do not smell good when they are constantly sprayed with boobie juice.

We are trying not to rush you with your development and are trying to enjoy your babyhood but you are making it so difficult! Just yesterday you sat up on your own; I didn’t even get to see it! Takeshi and I were sitting in front of the Pack-N-Play and when I turned around, there you were — on your butt with your legs in front, your hands in your lap holding your torso up. You seemed a little confused about how you got there, then you leaped and threw your face into the mesh side of the Pack-N-Play.

You have also been doing something which I believe is called “Downward Dog” in yoga. You plant your hands and feet down, then you put your little butt in the air so you look like an upside-down V. Then you pump your little legs so your butt goes up and down; it’s the funniest thing to watch. You look very intent, as if you think you’re going to go somewhere after doing all that, but when you plop back down you’re in the very same spot that you started out. But don’t worry — soon enough you will be running around, jumping off the couch, climbing the windows and hanging from the fireplace mantel like your brother. And then I will have to bust out Takeshi’s old straitjacket.

I love you, Stinky Cheese Boy,
Mama

I am preparing to take some product pictures so I have a clothed mannequin in our morning room. This would be fine if I didn’t keep catching glimpses of it out of the corner of my eye, causing me to jump and then suppress my Ass-Kicking Ninja Skills.

Also, you will notice that the mannequin has absolutely no ass — a sight that is not only disturbing but bizarre when looking at something dressed like me. Good thing I’m not taking pictures that include the backside; I would definitely consider adding some junk to that trunk.